James Peabody's Lecture on "Comics"
by Ethan Spike, Esq., Late of Hornby, Me.
(Matthew Whittier wrote under the fictitious name and character of "Ethan Spike")

Hornby, Oct. 1855

Mister Editer.--Perhaps in a litterery pint of view aour taoun haint bin so forrerd as she orter. White Polly-ticks an the milingtary interest has bin cared furder perhaps than in any other place on airth, yet, except in my own case, litteratoor hasn't gone beyond coarse handwritin an the single rule of three. Ferlosofy has bin quoted in this market below pork, Sience hasn't compared with Syder, string beans was ginerally sot higher than stronomy, tetters led trigernometry an punkins was ahead of poetry. Naow, haowsever, the tables is turned bottom side under. Sience is ris!

We've got a Lie-see-um! The ery of Lutters is begun, the tree of nollidge has spraouted, interlect biles over matter--that ere interlect wich has bin dormouse is naow raoused like a sleepy lion gittin away from Jordan.

The fust lecter of the season was gin last night by Jemes Peabody who's bin one quarter to an academary.

I haint time to gin you more'n a digestive or factsimelar of the lecter--

Jemes begun by obsarvin that ef anybody supposed that the stars want a heap bigger than they looked to be, they was almighty behind hand. Why, says he, there's that ar leetle shiner called Satan, says he, don't look bigger than a tetter, and yet accordin to Herkylis--who knows the heavingly bodies jist as easy as I knew father--tis summat larger than the hull county of Oxford! An the leetlest star you can pick aout, is as big as a cart-wheel. At this pint Dea. Elderberry ris and said this was goin too fur, 'twas reglar blastfeeme, contrary to scripter and agin common sense. Then he tuck his hat an cleared, fust spittin aout his terbacker cud as a testimony agin the doctrine.

After speakin of the milky-way--wich he said was longer than the Cumberland or Oxford Canawl--and the moon wich the on-larned considered to be a green cheese, but wich sience demonstrated to be a jacker-lantern on a large scale, the lecterer proceeded to the pertickeler part of his subjeck.--

Comics say Jemes--says he--ar of two kinds, the Tame and the Wild. The fust is peaceable--tother haint. The fust one is made of old moons as aint fit for sarvice, and is called by the oneddikated shootin stars, but we of the schools call em metres. This difference led the speaker to remark that learnin is everythin.

The wild kind, says Jemes, is a different crittur, bein composed of knebelous matter, hyfulution gass, oxside of cast iron an salts of harmonia makes it highly salvage and onsartin. They fust appeared about Deuteronomy or perhaps a little later in the year six, and was diskivered spontaneously from Portland obsarvatory an Pompey's pillow in Rooshy. They ar pesky things, says he, ollers gittin up wars, hurrykanes, and airthquakes. Oneasy and restless travelin abaout faster than a rale-rode but never reachin any wheres in pertickeler. Kinder loominated Peter Ruggs. Mighty onsartin they ar, cant be depended on. Father Miller engaged one to do a pertickeler job in '43 but it probably got better tarms somers else an that ere job remains ondone to this day.

But naow, says James, we comes to consider their tails. Them--says he--is real numers. Talk about the moon's "wonderous tale!" Why the tails of all the planics in ciderall hevings wouldn't make one for a fust rate wild comic! Longer than the wire of the magnetic paragraph, an wider than Sebago Pond, they stretches aout over the universal kanerpy in the onlimited pugnacity of ether, naow sweepin down among the helongated concavities of dirunal convexities, and agin, sorein uperds till lost in the great hyperion!

James was so used up by this peroaration that he had to be cared home on a cheer. This mornin, haowever, he was as well as could be expected, an ef convalessence don't set in, he'll be about in a day or two. We've got three lecters engaged. The fust by Daniel Pratt of Boston--the "Great American Traveler" an editor of the "Gridiron."