April 30, 2017
Steve has turned, once again, to editing his novelette on our life together in the early 19th century. He is waiting for microfilm of the newspaper we contributed to, then, to be digitized, which may take a week or two.
This is quite emotional for him, although the emotions sneak up on him unawares, after he has been writing. I, of course, remember everything, looking over his shoulder; and I prompt him inwardly with insights. For example, he knew that one day, when he was at the printer's office working on his short-lived newspaper, I was worried about him. It was getting late, I had our dinner prepared (what little we had at that time), but no Mathew. When he arrived, he told me he had been detained by "bores." Steve knows this much from a parody Mathew wrote of the event years later, in play form. But as Steve was editing this portion, and looking back over the wording of the play, it came to him suddenly that the "bore" had been trying to convince Matt to sell him a share of the paper. That would have made it financially viable; but Matt would have had to run the fellow's business ads for free. Worse yet, he would want editorial control over the paper, which was the real point of the offer. He would dampen down Mathew's anti-slavery fervor, if he had that collar on him.
Matt dismissed the offer out-of-hand. He would never sell out to anyone. And this is precisely the way Steve is, today. He will not sell out one inch; and this is why our work isn't financially viable, just the same as in the 1800's.
I (or Steve) could go on about this at length, but that is enough. Let those with ears to hear, hear.
So, having suddenly been confronted with three people he admired, turning on him, as it were--refusing to believe him (which is the same thing)--Steve is feeling a little down. But I have told him--and you--that our work will be properly appreciated by a future generation. Only if some prominent figure took Steve's part now, publicly, could he have a brief burst of notoriety. But such a person would have to have a vested interest in it. He, or she, would have to personally gain from it, somehow, in order to take such a risk. But see what I have done to him--if anyone supports Steve's rigorous study of reincarnation, they find themselves supporting a person who claims to have an invisible wife of seven years! No-one wants to come directly into the "line of fire" like that. I have done it to him, again. I was a liability for his business in the 1830's, and I have become a liability for him, now.
But this is what he wants. He refuses to be ashamed of me. And thus he honors me as few men have honored their woman, on earth.
That means this work we are doing has power, and continues to build power. Remember that there is potential energy, and kinetic energy. Potential energy is power; kinetic energy is dissipation. Potential power is far less impressive to onlookers, than it is in the active phase. The vast, still lake holds power--but one doesn't see it, until it cascades down the mountain-side.
That is it--that is all I am giving Steve to write. Poor Steve, he is now left feeling that we should wrap this up!
There is one more thing I could add--tomorrow is May Day. Early on, through telepathic impressions, I gave him to understand that he proposed to me--or in that day, one would "declare" one's love--on May Day, 1836, three months before we eloped. I gave him an impression of the circumstances, and he filled in the rest--a moonlight proposal on the banks of the wide Merrimack River. Later, he checked to see if there was moonlight on May 1, 1836--it was a full moon. It even showed up in one of Steve's regression sessions--the hypnotist asked him what were the two happiest events of that lifetime, and one of them was "When my wife accepted my proposal" (the other being when something big was published). He remembered feeling astonished; he said he had his "That's okay, I understand" speech all prepared, but he was speechless when I accepted, because he wasn't prepared for that! (I, meanwhile, had had my heart fixed on him since I started tutoring him, when I was 14 and he was 18. So he needn't have been so surprised, even if he hadn't been able to make his fortune in the world, which was supposed to have been a parental condition of his asking me.)
Still later, Steve found a humorous poem Matherw had written about this experience some years after I passed. Was the ending the way it really happened? Don't expect strict literalism from Mathew! But I am saying, yes...sort of... After some initial reluctance, Steve also decided there must have been something like that, which Mathew duly exaggerated for his poem, and so he has written it in to the novelette, as well (minus the toad, the extreme accident, and correcting the omission of my accepting his proposal!). Do you like to see the things Matt wrote about us? We'll end with this--if poetry or "old writing" is not to your taste, you can stop reading, here. I won't mind...I know people of this era have short attention spans ;-).
Love to each and all,