Abby's journal



March 24, 2018


Do you remember that I told Steve not to get too comfortable in the group-house where he was renting a room, and that more changes would be coming? Well, he was finally able to find a studio apartment he can afford, that's safe and not a scam. He will be moving by the end of next week. And none too soon, because the head of the house where he's living has turned against him. Nothing will convince him, now, that his preconceived notions are incorrect; and this prejudice is now spreading to some of the other inhabitants. The lines of internal political battle are being drawn, as to whether Steve is a good guy, or not. He is getting out just barely in time; and this is due to my intervention, working with his karma, of course.

Why is this happening? There are layers upon layers of reasons. He is different; that's the first layer. It is like a bird that tries to flock with a different species. It may be grudgingly accepted, at first, but then it may also be driven out!

But what are the deeper reasons? This, as Steve has surmised, is a recap of an earlier sailor lifetime; and these men are the crew and petty officers and such. This is just before Mathew's life. He didn't fit in there, either. He tried to abandon his ship, to marry me, when I was a native Polynesian girl! And he was flogged for his trouble, after they captured him. So this is just a small taste of that scenario. Each lifetime the echo gets fainter, you see. (Steve knows of two earlier lifetimes, when he was actually murdered by a group.) So they won't physically flog him this time, but he is getting a series of verbal tongue-lashings--and this, from a fellow who Steve has gifted a fine display cabinet to, when Steve has done nothing substantially wrong, at all, other than to cook regularly and flush the toilet more often than some others do, because he has to pee more often, thus slightly increasing the monthly water and electric bill.

We won't get into anything more specific in this semi-public forum. But there is a deeper reason why Steve keeps running into this; and this, in turn, goes to why Mathew lampooned ignorant people. You see, when Steve returned to his past-life scene, Portland, Maine, he also returned to the land of the people he used to ridicule in the papers. And why did he ridicule them? Because they had persecuted him for being different.

The whole thing revolves around why Steve is incarnating in a time which is too backwards for him. This is a mystery I won't divulge entirely, now, because even Steve doesn't know the full answer. He has felt, for many years, that he is in some kind of karmic "remedial training," sort of like being kept back a grade. The boy who is kept back a grade, is resented. He doesn't fit in. He knows more than the children in his class--but he is not looked up to for that. He is ostracized.

As to why Steve keeps finding himself in this position, that goes deeper than I want to say, today. It is odd, don't you think, that the head of the house persists in giving Steve lectures on house rules, when all know that he is leaving in less than a week. What's the point? The most he can do, is to threaten to kick him out--which he darkly did, and then Steve was able to announce his departure very shortly after! Yet, he persists.

The resentments are old--the poor fellow doesn't realize from whence his feelings come, nor why they are so strong.

There is another principle I want to bring up...but it is ticklish to express. The higher vibration always feels uncomfortable to the lower. The person who is living at a higher level of personal integrity--I don't just mean being honest, I mean that all phases of the person are "lined up"--unintentionally throws a mirror up to the person who is living at a level of less personal integrity. That person's response is denial and projection, especially, projection. The image is thrown back, given that the person feels under attack.

Awhile back, Steve thought someone in the house had stolen his cell phone. It seemed a foregone conclusion--Steve thought he had left it on the kitchen table, and had gone out in the car. It wasn't in the glove compartment, which is the only place he would ever put it. So someone had to have stolen it, and Steve lost his temper and demanded its return. But checking back in the car, he found it next to the seat, in an uncharacteristic spot. He then swallowed his pride and apologized immediately, saying he had been out of line.

The head of the house says "we don't want any drama here." But then, he is continually making drama, and he isn't apologizing for it. The closest he could do, after lecturing another fellow (who is also of a sensitive nature, and one that Steve has bonded with), was to tell Steve something to the effect that he didn't mean to yell at the other fellow. But it wasn't a full apology, and it was to the wrong person. And then he continues doing it, whereas Steve's mistake will remain a one-time affair.

So each time the head acts hypocritically, while Steve remains true to his principles, this makes him look worse and worse to himself. See how it works? And therefore, because he cannot face himself, he must make Steve look bad, to remove the threat. And each time he tries to make Steve look bad, and Steve responds in a calm way, it makes him look that much worse to himself, and so the thing escalates in a spiral.

That spiral, I'm telling you now, could have gotten violent. That's because there are substances involved. This is why I was urging Steve not to become complacent, and to continue looking for a way out. This is also why I remarked, before, that Steve's situation was "precarious." Because if there is violence, and five people testify one way, even if it isn't true, the law could come down on Steve, who would be innocent. It was potentially a very dangerous situation, as Steve sees, now.

So from this you can see how a spirit guide works. You might never know the identity of your spirit guide, but he or she "has your back." The more you trust him or her, and the more you learn to cooperate with the help being offered, the better things will go for you. There is still your karma to attend to, but it can be prevented from going out of control, in the kind of negative spiral I've described in this case.

I told Steve, by prompting communication, that I approve of the new place. You will see more about it, soon. It is on a lovely street lined with old "Victorian" houses. Steve can see them from his front window. He is once again in a "garret," or attic, as Mathew also had. They do say, "The more things change, the more they stay the same," but they don't know the half of it! The word "garret" implies a poor one, but this one is much nicer; so from this you see that Steve's pattern is improving, now, despite the initial rough spots.

Love to each and all,