I've been thinking about what I want to do with this blog, and one of the things I'd like to do is to describe what a cross-dimensional relationship--a relationship with a soul mate still in the physical world--is like from my perspective.

Believe it or not, there are many people here on this side who long to actively continue their relationship with their soul mate. It is considered to be so risky as to be foolhardy, even doomed. Why? Because, firstly, earth people can't believe it (doubts creep in despite our best efforts to prove that it's real), and secondly because they can't sustain it. Their physical need overwhelms them, or they find someone who is close enough, with whom they can recreate some aspects of the relationship they had with their soul mate.

Astral ethics and etiquette demand that you not interfere from this side when that happens. When you see mediums say, "he/she wants you to date and to 'move on'," very often this is because the person on this side is responding to what they see in their lover's own heart. They know their former spouse or partner is lonely; they also know that he or she is not ready, willing or able to sustain a cross-dimensional relationship like mine with Steve--and so, wishing them happiness, they encourage them to take the course they already secretly wish to take.

But then mediums, hearing this, begin to think that it's a universal law over here. They mistakenly conclude that people here have no jealousy, and never have any wish to continue the relationship even if it were possible.

Reality, as usual, is a lot more varied. Sometimes the person, upon leaving their body, sees that the relationship was not really all that good to begin with. We get a lot more honest about things here. Sometimes the person is so overwhelmed with the sheer pleasure and delight of being here, that relationships of any kind are the last thing on his or her mind! (You see this in reports of near-death experiences--the intoxication of first coming over here, with the release from physical bondage.)

Sometimes, if the person's true soul mate was over here, they hook up. Then they rather guiltily wish for their former spouse to find someone, too. Of course they don't tell them that's the reason.

You will recognize immediately that I am not telling you what you want to hear. This is what really happens. That is why Steve keeps emphasizing that the continuing relationship we have is really only for soul mates and "twin flames." It is almost impossible for anyone else to sustain. People can, and do, keep connection for a year or so, to get their former partner through grief, and then wish them well. This is fundamentally different than what Steve and I are doing, though some of the "nuts and bolts" are naturally the same.

So...what is it like for me? Well, time is subjective here, and though I waited for Steve for about 170 years, since my last death in the physical world in 1841, still, I cannot claim to have "waited 170 years." It wasn't that long for me; but still, it was a long time, given the intensity of my feelings. Our last parting was complicated. Steve had a lot of growing up to do, and I had to wait for him. That meant he had to learn a great deal about relationships, about properly valuing our relationship, about the futility and danger of trying to find substitutes for me. And I had to stand by and let him.

What I did was what anyone would do in those circumstances--I threw myself into my work (which was gradually and systematically introducing terminally ill people to the astral world before death); and into my music. I play piano and lead a four-piece group here. Some day Steve and I intend to channel some of my music, if he gets proficient enough at piano. I'm teaching him--our agreement was, "I can't take over your hands physically from this level of the astral plane, but if you get good enough technically, I can inspire you and you can channel some of my music." So Steve immediately agreed to that, and he has been practicing under my guidance for over a year now. He is making very good progress.

Anyway, I focused on my work and on my music, and I waited it out. Occasionally when he was about to get in real trouble, I would warn him, and he thought it was just something wrong with him, and he would fight it. I got in trouble for that, but what do true soul mates care for rules? Our love comes before rules, before everything but God, actually. So I did it anyway--but then I realized that there were certain things he had to experience before he could ever be ready to consciously turn to me, before we could reconnect. So I had to wait.

I did not have to wait very long after I came to peace with the situation. But that story has been told elsewhere on this website. From my perspective, as soon as he turned to me with all his heart, I was there instantly! Time and distance and even the Veil itself cannot stop real love. That is not mere poetry, it is fact.

So in this blog, I will be describing what the experience of continuing a marriage (after 170 years, or after 2 years, makes no difference) is like from this side. Our hope and intention is that our work may become a beacon for soul mate couples who have been separated by death. Not so much that the one left behind will find us, though we do want that to happen. No, we are primarily trying to create a beacon of light that the one who has come over here can see. It has already happened a few times. The person over here learns of our work, and contrives some way to bring us to the attention of their remaining spouse; or they bring that person to my attention, and I find a way to bring them to Steve's attention, and he tries to contact them. Quite often it may not be successful--but gradually it should become more visible, here and there. Gradually the word may get out--"This is possible." We are not the first to sound this note, but we have picked it up, and others will pick it up as well.

It isn't easy. Marriage isn't easy, and this isn't easy. Relationships that are primarily "arrangements" won't hold up. On this side, the situation is that soul mates deeply want this--and at the same time, they are deeply afraid of it. Because they have lost, too--and the only thing worse than losing once, is losing twice. So if someone physical thinks maybe they want to do this, and then half-way through someone convinces them it's hokus-pokus and they turn away, it hurts the partner on this side doubly. Remember "Ghost," when Molly is convinced by Oda May's police record that she's a scam artist, and the whole thing is a scam? It is so easy for a person on earth, attempting this, to lose faith. So much so that when I first started, all my friends warned me against it and were very worried about me.

I'm going to tell you something that will make you quite sure this is all a fairy tale. Literally. When I was grieving for Steve, forced to sit back and let him go through all his mistakes, I went out in nature to be alone. But I was not alone--the fairies live there. Now, I don't know what fairies you are familiar with in folklore, but these fairies are real, and they are characters! They are not all the "sharpest knife in the drawer" (an expression Steve tells me he learned from past-life researcher Marge Rieder)--but they are loyal, kind, and funny. Two, a married couple--and I cannot get their names to Steve, though I would try--felt especially sad for me. We cannot hide our feelings here--it is plainly seen in our bodies, which are made of light. (Think of the films you've seen of squid with colors flushing rapidly over their bodies, and you'll get some idea of it.) So these two knew how I felt, the despair I felt at being separated from Steve, and at the way we were separated, and they tried to cheer me up. They literally did a song-and-dance routine! It was so cute it made me laugh, despite myself. Now, Steve says he has never heard of any such thing, but a knowledgable friend of his says he has read of fairies putting on plays.

Anyway, have you ever had someone reach out to you in your moment of blackest despair? Perhaps you know, then, the special gratitude one feels for that person, even when things get better. (If you are in AA, and if your sponsor rescued you from the pit, perhaps you feel that way toward him or her.)

So Steve and I agree that the very first thing we do when he comes over here, is to immediately go visit this pair so he can thank them personally! All the other people who may be waiting for him (and there is a grand reception for people who have accomplished worthwhile work, whether it was ever acknowledged on earth or not), will have to wait.

As I continue with this blog, I will try, through Steve, to give you some idea of what this relationship is like for me. You can then know what it might be like for your lover, if you choose to reconnected with them. Where else I might take this blog, or what "detours" I might take along the way, one never knows!

Warmest regards to all,
Abby